Widespread's 
post on how to kill all sons'a'bitches not die to that massive horde of loving NAZI SCUM multicultural zombies you're running from
But first, required listening.
Anyways, Zombies Mode is basically you versus a sh*tload of zombies. It WAS seen as a bonus mode before becoming more fleshed out circa Escalation for Blops 1, or Map Pack 2 for World At War if you consider "not nameless grunts" fleshed out.
You basically have weapons from Multiplayer mostly, and have to kill enough zombies to earn points/cash. Said currency goes towards doors, perks, guns, and traps.
Points are given for where your killing shot lands. +100 Points for headshots, +70 points for neck, +60 for chest/abdomen, +50 for co*ck shots, and +130 if you can stab the f*cker to death.
Doors are self-explanatory, as are Traps. But let's break down Perks first.
LIST O' PERKS USED:
The OG Perks:
- Quick Revive: Helps you revive your mates faster. Blops 1 onward, you now pick yourself up in Solo up to three times before the machine f*cks off. Costs 500 Solo, 1500 normally. Consider this if you want an insurance policy.
- Jugger-Nog: It's loving Juggernaut. What else do I need to say. You better loving get this or I'mma find you. Obviously get guns first but still.
- Double Tap Root Beer: Rapid Fire. Blops 2 onward, it now makes your gun shoot two bullets for the price of one. Consider this if you want more power but already have a Pack-a-Punch'd weapon.
- Speed Cola: Sleight of Hand. Also some poo poo about doing stuff faster but mostly just Sleight of Hand. Get this if you have a slow reloading speed.
Blops 1 Perks:
- Stamin-Up: Marathon/Lightweight all rolled into one convenient bottle. Consider this if you feel slow with a Pack-a-Punch'd weapon.
- PhD Flopper: Danger Close. Made your dolphin dive explosive if it was gonna hurt. Obviously not in Blops 3 or most of Blops 2. REST IN PEPPERONI YOU MAGNIFICENT PERK YOU
- Deadshot Daiquiri: Tightens spread by a good margin. Aim assist now goes to the head instead of torso. Headshots do more damage. Less recoil. No Sniper Sway whatsoever. Facestabs are possible. Consider. Just consider.
- Mule Kick: You can carry a third gun. Gun goes away if perk goes away. Why the gently caress are you even considering this it's loving expensive and sucks rear end you don't even need a third weapon anyway so why bother
The other perks:
- Tombstone Soda: REST IN PIECEEEEEES, DOWN FOR THE COUNT. NO REVIVALLLLL, YOU'RE BLEEDING OUT. If you're downed, you can kys to spawn a tombstone powerup which gives you back your loadout minus tombstone. Is loving terrible since there's a Perma-Perk version that just takes one perk away
- Who's Who: WHO THE gently caress IS WHO WHAT THE gently caress WAS THAT DRINK GOD drat CHINESE PERK-A-COLAS If you're downed, you spawn a clone that you can control to revive yourself. Would be decent but the map it was featured in was just... bleh.
- Electric Cherry: Makes electricity that kills zombies whenever you reload your gun. Full reloads give the strongest zaps. Consider this if you have low-ammo mags.
- Vulture Aid: Scavenger for both ammo and points. Gas clouds you can step in to get away from zombies. Can generally see poo poo a lot better. Unfortunately, just like the Blops 2 Zombies main storyline, it's.... BURIED.
- Widow's Wine: Zombies get hurt if they hit you at the cost of a grenade. Your grenade is now Spidery Semtex. Stab better. Spawns a pickup that replenishes a grenade. Consider this on every map except Zetsubou No Shima, where you MUST loving GET BECAUSE IT'S FREE GOD DAMMIT GO GET THE loving DRINK
Wait where's the Electric Cherry machine on Der Eisendrache I've looked everywhere
DER WUNDERFIZZ HAS YOU COVERED. It's the Mystery Box for Perks, and costs 1500 a pull. Lightning will hit it every now and then. Also like the box, it can move if you get the teddy bear.
Now let's talk about guns. Mostly multiplayer guns. P-06, XR-2, and supply drop guns aren't available mostly. You'll want a gun you can kill a lot of zombies quick and can accumulate a lot of points.
Good assault rifles:
Is the assault rifle not named ICR-1 or M8A7? Then it's good.
Good SMGs:
Is the SMG not named Pharo? Then it's good.
Good LMGs:
Is the LMG named BRM or Dingo? Then it's good.
Good Shotguns:
Is the shotgun a shotgun? Then it's good.
Good Sniper Rifles:
Is the sniper rifle named Drakon? Then it's good.
Some of these guns are on the walls, but for the most part, you're gonna be hitting the ever-popular MYSTERY BOX. Costs 950 points. Can be any gun, including the RK5 and the Shieva. Look for the light beam in the sky to find it.
But this gun sucks at round 20 and I have a lot of money in my hand.
This is where the PACK-A-PUNCH MACHINE comes in. Across most games, it was a fairly complex way to get to the Pack-A-Punch Machine. Exceptions are: Kino der Toten, Call of the Dead, Origins, Nuketown Zombies, Buried, Moon, Der Eisendrache, and The Giant/Der Riese.
Getting access to it requires a guide, or memory if you read a guide before. But yeah, if you want a beefier gun, you kinda have to do the legwork and have 5000 points on hand.
Blops 3 Zombies added a more consistent Re-Pack-a-Punch mechanic, costing 2500 points instead. You can get Turned, Dead Wire, Blast Furnace, Thunder Wall, and Fire Works. They're all good. Get one, then fire the gun a bit. It'll trigger every now and then.
There's some glowy poo poo from a zombie.
Powerups. They're the following: Nuke, Max Ammo, Insta-Kill, Double Points, Carpenter, Fire Sale, and DEATH MACHINE.
While most are self-explanatory, some aren't. Carpenter repairs all the barriers on the map instantly, Fire Sale makes it so every box is on the map AND costs 10 POINTS A PULL, and DEATH MACHINE pretty much gives you the Wraith's Minigun for 30 secs. Don't pick up a Double Points or Insta-Kill if you have one last zombie for the round, but do pick up a Nuke if you need it/just beat a round and it's not yet the next round.
Now, there's some poo poo about Wonder Weapons. For the most part, they're good but... well, if you ever wondered why people say "oh I need a guide to do all these steps to get this", THIS is why. Mostly Blops 2 and mostly Blops 3 have like needlessly complex or hard-to-find parts for just one gun that doesn't usually go into the box.
Blops 3 Wonder Weapons:
- Apothican Servant: Makes black holes that kill zombies. Used to be upgradeable. Requires quite a bit of RNG for the parts.
- Wunderwaffe DG-2: Tempest but more nazi-flavored. Actually is in the box.
- Wrath of the Ancients: Regular bow requires just feeding those dragons you might have seen. Upgrading said bow gets into complex territory.
- KT-4: Makes zombies blow up. Fire at spore to get speed boost. Used to open the spider boss fight. The definition of complex steps. Can be upgraded.
- GkZ-45 Mk3: Two guns, actually. One's the GkZ-45, which makes a cloud. The other is the Ray Gun Mark 3, which is the Ray Gun's sleeker version. Shoot cloud with Mark 3 to make black hole. It's actually in the box for once.
Specialist weapons are also available, but require almost as much to use.
Blops 3 Specialist Stuff:
[list]
[*]Apothican Sword: Think Fury's Song. But more Eldritch. Can be upgraded.
[*]Annihilator Pistol: You know what this is. But instead of taking it from the 54 Immortals, you take it from
[*]Ragnarok DG-4: Gravity Spikes. Must be built. Actually useful.
[*]Skull of Nan Sapwe: It either makes the zombies peaceful... or blown up. Purify skulls to get to it.
[*]Gauntlet of Siegfried: One part Purifier, one part Ripper. There's a few hoops to jump through for it.
These are also map-unique.
What the gently caress is this easter egg bullsh*t
poo poo you don't have to worry about unless you like the plot.
What are gobblegum
It's gum that gives you a boost. All usually say what they do.
You can also get MEGA Gobblegums. They're better usually, but need Liquid Divinium. You know. The same poo poo that made the zombies. You can either find them or buy them outright.
Anything else I missed?
